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A Not-So-Lonely Christmas
By Neil Peterson | December 23, 2008
“The more he gives to others, the more he possesses of his own.”
- Lao-Tzu
The holidays can be a lonely time. And while most people experience some form of nagging but manageable loneliness during the holidays, some 20 percent of Americans experience debilitating “holiday blues” according to a recent article by Katharine Mieszkowski.
Add a recent loss to the mix and the feeling of isolation can be even more intense – which is what I experienced for three years following the divorce from my first wife, Ellen. As lonely as I felt, however, I knew the only person who could change my situation was me. So instead of feeling sorry for myself, I chose to forget about my own problems by giving my time to others.
On Thanksgiving Day for each of those three years, I volunteered at the Union Gospel Mission in downtown Seattle. This wonderful organization continues to thrive to this day in fulfilling its mission of helping Seattle’s homeless. In fact, they recently broke ground for a new residence and recovery program for women and children called “Hope Place.”
As I helped serve dinners to the homeless on those Thanksgivings, I realized that it truly is more blessed to give than to receive. Serving others pulled me out of my loneliness, and it felt great.
For Christmas day, however, I decided to do something a bit different.
My job at the time was running the Municipality of Metropolitan Seattle or, as most people called it, Metro-an independent regional government responsible for public transportation and water quality throughout the Seattle metropolitan area. I had some 3,500 employees working for me. Every holiday-and especially on Christmas day – we had just a skeleton staff in place to drive the buses, service the bus maintenance facilities, man the sewage treatment plants, and work the sewage pumping stations. I am sure those employees would have preferred to be home with their families, enjoying a day off with the rest of the country instead of being stuck at work. I appreciated what they were doing – and I intended to let them know.
So for three years I got up very early on Christmas morning, drove to each sewage treatment plant and each transit bus base, and spent all day shaking the hands of every single staff person I could find who was working.
The employees loved it. Somebody remembered them on Christmas day, somebody thanked them for their hard work and sacrifice – and that somebody was the “big boss.” Those three Christmases when I was “alone,” I could have spiraled into isolation and depression. But instead, by giving of my time to others, I discovered the true spirit of Christmas and that made it perhaps the least lonely of all.
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